I started this blog to share information about my life with Cystic Fibrosis. I have tried to be as honest as I can with every aspect of the disease and how it affects my life. This blog has really been a place for me to reflect on my disease, in addition to sharing information with others. There has been one topic, however, that has previously been off-limits: having children. I was never really comfortable discussing the topic out here in the open. But, I have decided to take the step forward to share the whole truth about my life with CF.
Having CF and making a decision about having children is complicated. I have so much more to consider than the average person. Pregnancy can cause complications with CF, including increased infections during pregnancy. The options for treatment are limited while pregnant. Am I willing to risk not being treated for an infection while pregnant? Am I willing to risk the long-term consequences this will have on my lungs? Am I willing to pass this gene on to my offspring? Am I willing to risk having an child with CF? Once the child is born, will I be able to continue all of my treatments, including exercise, while taking care of a baby? At what point will I be to sick to care of a child? Its a lot to take on.
On top of all of this, CF can cause complications with being able to conceive. So, even if I could find answers to all of the questions above and feel completely confident about having a baby, CF may have the final say. Which I have learned to be true for me. The honest truth, I cannot have children because of this disease.
There are a lot of options out there for women and men with CF who want to have children. There are various forms of fertility treatments and options that have helped a lot of CF women or CF wives conceive children and have successful pregnancies. Ethan and I discussed every option under the sun. Fertility treatments are not the right fit for us.
But not hope is lost. Yes, I have officially declared I cannot have children naturally. I am comfortable with this. And honestly, it feels good just to admit it and move on. There is no more disappointment. The good news is, Ethan and I have decided to pursue adoption. We are in the very early stages and it will be a very long road, but we are excited at the opportunity to become parents. Our wish right now is for a toddler in need of a good, safe and loving home.
I am not planning on writing much about our adoption journey on this blog. In the future I may decided to e-mail interested friends and family updates from time to time. But for right now, we are just going through the application, interviews, home study, and a class. We won't be approved for adoption until the later part of the year. So until then, there won't be that much to update.
Congratulations! A lucky, lucky little one is on his/her way to your heart. You're going to be a spectacular mother. SPECTACULAR!
ReplyDeleteYou are both awesome and so brave. :-) That kid is going to be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteLots of love.
Wow! That's great news! You will be a great mom! Josh is right, that little kid-o will be lucky to have you both! Good luck! I'm really happy for you guys! :)
ReplyDeleteI love hearing this, Colleen! You will be a fabulous mommy! Sending lot of love <3
ReplyDeleteI think it's awesome that you two are pursuing adoption. You both will be wonderful parents. More than likely, adoption is probably what I will pursue as well, when the time comes. I have trouble coming to the conclusion that i can't have kids naturally, even more so being post-transplant, although there are new studies out regarding this option. But I know deep down, that will not be a possibility. I loved reading this post.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! We're really excited for you both. What a meaningful thing to do with your lives, and a wonderful way to impact someone else's.
ReplyDeleteVery awesome...wishing you both the best!!
ReplyDeleteI am late to the game on this post. BUT, I am so thankful to have met you at CFRI. I, too, have felt very uncomfortable writing about this topic on my blog. I hope I can open up more and write more about it because we have great knowledge to share. I here you in this post, Colleen. Whatever path you two choose will be the right fit, period. Doesn't mean you won't grieve over the loss of "what might have been or could have been." Thanks for sharing this post and at CFRI.
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