Watching this movie, I felt hollow. From the minute the movie started, I just kept thinking over in my mind...I can't believe we have the same disease. I can't believe Eva was fighting for her life at age 23. Waiting for a call to save her life. When I was 23, my biggest concern was who was going to be the designated driver. I met Ethan when I was 23. My life was just beginning. I had no clue what the reality was for others living with CF. Perhaps I still don't.
Networking with other CFers sometimes feels like life is happening in a dream. Reading someone's blog about CF health, pre or post transplant seems no different from reading a fictional book. I know these stories are happening, the people writing them are real, but sometimes it is hard to connect the words to a real human person with feelings and emotions. But seeing it in a documentary, Eva's story has become real. I saw her illness, her weakness, her pain. Seeing it just seems so much more powerful than reading it. It was as if I finally realized the truth about this disease.
The movie left me wondering about my own life, of course. Is it the fate of every CFer to encounter this stage of the illness? Is what I saw on the screen my own fate? If so when? How much time do I have before I am faced with making decisions about transplants? Will it be a slow or happen all of a sudden? At this point in my life and with my health, it seems so far from reality, I can't even relate.
Eva, you where a beautiful soul. Thank you for bringing the camara's into your life to share your journey with the world. I'm sorry you didn't win this battle. I miss you.